Chapter 24
Worried about the future? Stressed about that meeting coming up? Trying to just manage all the things you have going in in your crazy life? For most people this is normal. Is it our self-made concept on how we think we need to feel because we live up to the standards of the world or what we worry that others want from us?
Why are you worried? Did you do something wrong? Did you not prepare yourself? These are pretty important questions to ask yourself. My personal life is probably similar to everyone else’s. Between getting my kids off to school, getting to work, worrying about making enough money to support my family, stressing out how to make soccer practice while juggling Grad school and a 4.0 GPA, and then figuring out how to manage the other required stuff that is necessary to make it all work like meals, chores, family, and rest. Wait… did I say rest? What is that? Seriously?
Life can be pretty overwhelming. If you know me, I am pretty social, but these last few years between the pandemic and all the disasters that everyone has experienced in their own personal lives, I have taken a step back and really focused on what life really means. I have always been strong in faith, but how is that so many of us in this world feel so overwhelmed or stressed? Just listening to others share their stories, the one similarity I have found in almost everyone’s conversation is their fear of not being good enough or worrying about if they are capable of meeting the demands of life. Wow! Once all the layers are peeled back, no matter what your personal problems are, this theme seems to reveal itself. I am not a therapist or anything close, but as strong as my talking skills are, my ears are equally powerful and this is something I hear over and over and over. While I can’t speak for everyone, and a one size fits all solution is not possible, something that I have really focused on that has been helpful has changed my mindset is being present in the moment.
We are not guaranteed anything in life, no matter how much anyone wants to argue about it, we are only gifted the moment we are currently in. The past, no matter what it is, is behind us. The hope for the future lies in the present and the question I present to all of you, “How do you want to spend it?” Do you want to enjoy this moment and use it to prepare for the future? Or… do you want to worry about the future and waste the valuable time you have on this earth turning your emotions upside down and fueling any concerns that builds inside of you? I know what I would choose. It’s not being miserable. Honestly, it is this simple. You have the choice to change this. You don’t need any special training, you don’t need thousands in the bank, and you don’t need to belong to any special group to make this personal decision. Because that is exactly what it is. A personal choice.
This personal choice is extremely powerful because it is what leads you to the future. Everything you do right now, creates the next moment. Then you have your next “present” and you have another opportunity to make a decision that will change your present and the rest of your life. Even in your darkest moment in the most horrible of places, you can make this decision to be free of worry. If you choose to be in the moment, your present will never be too much to handle again. Within this, you are not letting go of your commitments and responsibilities, but you are accepting them with this new enlightened mindset. Having the confidence to face your fears and concerns head on which empowers you to become stronger within yourself, and frees your hopelessness. Everyone has their own level of stress and anxiety, but this state of mind can apply to all of us.
In consideration, many people hold on to the past. The past is such a powerful tool to help guide you – lessons you have learned from mistakes, personal experiences with others, both bad and good, and many other reflections of what has made up your life story. When looking at the past, we are not perfect. There is no need to handcuff the rest of your future to what has previously occurred. If you are struggling with this – you need to accept it, make amends with any issues you have, forgive yourself and others, and let that crap go. You cannot move forward if you have something holding you back. I personally struggled with past self-perceived failures, when all they really were experiences that lead me to where I am currently. We put so much pressure on ourselves, when what we really need to do is find what is most important and put appropriate focus into those goals. With everything comes balance: family, work, and faith. Having too much focus on one denies the other faction of your life. Each has to be in balance so that every aspect of your life brings you joy and the happiness you are seeking. If you work too much, but your family and inner self are the expense, you need to fix something. On the flip side, life can’t be all fun and games forgetting about the responsibilities of having a job. That job fuels the things you want to provide for the other key tenets of your life, so being mature and responsible are important factors. Understanding this balance should help you. So many people have their thoughts and priorities mixed up and twisted. This lost mindset creates this worry that plagues their inner self and creates what we are talking about. Slow down Turbo. Be present. In this moment. Identify what is important and make a plan.
I mentioned letting go and forgiving. That word – forgiveness. Some people cringe because their life has been so horrible and those experiences have hardened that person. If no one ever talks about forgiveness ever again in your life, I want to be extremely explicit here. No one is perfect. Including you. If you cannot forgive others, then how are you ever going to be able to move on and forgive yourself when you fail? You do not need a mirror for this folks. That feeling that is burning withinside you right now as my message is being clearly communicated, you know what I am talking about. LET GO. I never used to forgive. I held on to everything. E V E R Y T H I N G. The person that cut me off on the way to work, the last conversation I had with someone where I didn’t like what they said to me, and why it is raining today? Stupid stuff. I also know people have deep seeded problems with others, but the the same theory is in play here – forgive. Once I started to acknowledged this part of life and really accepted letting go of things I can’t control with life and others, I was free to be me. My moment became clearer and easier.
This is not end-all-be-all solution, but hopefully my advice and insight is a helpful start. Take today and this gift that God has given you and be thankful in your moment. Look at all the blessings and gifts that you have: your job, your family, your friends, and your life. Begin now. This is your new opportunity to be who you want to be. Who cares what anyone else wants you to be or who you think you need to be. What is it that you want? This is your moment right now to do it.
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Written By Chris Hulme ( aka – Coach Hulme ) #CoachHulme #ChrisHulme #TheHulme
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Coach Hulme 